I usually try not to moan about sickness around here. I mean, everyone gets sick. So it’s not terribly interesting to anyone who isn’t sick.

These weeks have made me glad I read Auntie Leila’s Sickie Manifesto a few weeks back. It was a timely reminder…

Josh is in the middle of one of the worst flu/colds he’s had in years. And by middle, I mean he’s at day 9. Ahem. But he soldiers on. Some days he still does his school work from the couch, and that’s a good thing. We need to keep that little active mind BUSY. Right now he is giving me looks because I said I’d help him with his puzzle, but I am on my computer. He thinks that’s lame.

So. When I started laughing uncontrollably at the events of last night, I thought I’d throw them out there for you.

Things were going fine. The typical coughing fits that happen around bed time. Joel came in later  to tell me that Josh was growling in his sleep…Joel felt that this was disturbing.

For goodness sake.

Of course the growling was just Josh trying not to cough. But for some reason Joel was timing it, and as it happened every two minutes precisely, it was a little weird…

At about 1:30 (am) things got a little crazy. Michael picked this moment for one of his gigantic mother-of-all-that-is-holy allergy attacks.

If you’ve been to our house, then you know there is not a single place for him to blow his nose that would give the rest of us any peace.

So, naturally that was all Josh needed to launch into one of his endless coughing fits.

For awhile we were all in the living room together, and the NOISE…

Lets just say there’s nothing quite so soothing to a child caught in a coughing spasm as the sight of his Dad bumbling around the house in…whatever he wears to bed, blowing his nose loud enough to wake the dead.

The amount of times Michael crossed the room blowing his nose and snarking his tonsils out is making me cry, I’m laughing so hard.

This went on for about 20 years. I mean minutes.

Meanwhile, Josh and I are waiting for his cough medicine to kick in. We moved back to his room after he’s quiet enough the I don’t think he’ll wake Joel up.

I had a flash of inspiration when I thought of reading Josh a story to help him get back to sleep. I stumbled back to the living room and grabbed a book.

I’ll just mention now that Josh is quite use to me and is also a very patient child. So when I pulled out my phone to use as a flashlight and began whispering through Beatrix Potter’s The Tale of the Flopsy Bunnies, he sighed and settled right in. After about the third time of dropping my phone on him and getting tangled in words like “soporific” and “improvident”, it began to occur to me that 2:15 in the morning is not the choicest time for a little “light reading”.

We settled on back scratches instead.

By the time I got back to our room, lights were on everywhere and Michael was reading a gripping theology book.

Okay then.

Then he launched into his usual story about how our overhead fan is probably the cause of his allergy attacks.

Uh huh.

Then he decided that this would be a perfect time to ponder  how much it might cost to make a loaf of homemade bread. (I hate that question, and do not want to figure it out.) Since he sensed that he would get no answers from me, a intensely long guessing game began of what bread ingredients might actually be…

He was starting to settle down when I realized that the race was on. The snorking and snoring during spring allergy season is unmatched. I thought maybe I would get some rest if I could only beat him to sleep.

Nope.

Fast forward several annoying hours…

I woke to the sound of tap tap, tappity tap. Bam Bam Bam.

It turns out, someone who had gotten plenty of sleep last night was outside hammering the last nail in an effort to attach an empty rubbermaid (with the bottom cut out) to the post outside the door. (It has been explained to me that this will be perfect for dunking basketballs.)

I can’t think of a way to end this. It’s going to be a very long day…