So. There’s this thing with women on Valentine’s Day…
For a day that’s all about celebrating love, it can sure take a weird turn for the ugly sometimes.
If you don’t have a special someone, it can seem like you can’t have a good day since nobody is paying attention to you.
(Since this isn’t my experience right now, I won’t say much. Just know that I am sympathetic!)
It can be easy to romanticize being married or dating on this day, because women who have a “special someone” are of course showered with love and attention.
Sometimes married women are sure that they deserve something fabulous for being such a fantastic wife, and can get frustrated and confused when their dreams don’t become reality.
The ads and commercials sure don’t help anything!
We might think to ourselves “well, if he really loved me…he’d buy me this, or take me here, or spoil me rotten.” .
Sometimes it’s a case of bloated expectations. Those unmet expectations can cause ungratefulness, pouting, or general unpleasantness on days like these.
So, how CAN we have a “Happy Valentines Day”?
Don’t play the comparison game.
That game starts with the “if only”.
“If only I had a great guy in my life”
“If only I had a better husband who payed more attention to me”
“If only he’d gotten me what my friend’s husband got her”
How do we avoid that? Well…one obvious way might be to…
Stay off of Social Media!!!
Maybe just for one little day.
It might really help out with the comparing that goes on during days like this.
Become wrapped up in making others (especially our husband) feel loved.
Let’s relax and allow ourselves to become absorbed in loving and serving other people.
“The ideal wife is in love with her husband. Therefore her whole nature reaches out to him in an effort to bring him happiness. Her joy [comes] through success in making him happy and content. Because her first desire is for his well-being, all her emotional and physical attentions are aimed at satisfying his needs…
No one can arrive at happiness through oneself, through self-seeking…
Those who seek first their own pleasure out of marriage, and make the happiness of their partners only a possible by-product, are doomed to misery. It is an inexorable law of our lives that only through making others happy can we expect happiness. So many wives seem to want to learn this lesson the hard, bitter way.”
-Kinsella, The Wife Desired
Then, since we were talking about bloated expectations…
Show him appreciation for ANYTHING he does for us, great or small!
It’s really the least we can do, right? I mean look at the position they’re put in on Valentine’s Day. Then with the arrival of facebook, their displays of affection are put up in front of the world to be compared to everyone else!
Naturally, I have quotes…
“In the early days of America a man was appreciated if he only kept food on the table….His very existence was appreciated.”
I love this idea. “His very existence was appreciated”.
“One of the most serious faults in anyone is ingratitude. An ungrateful wife is a fundamental cause of serious marriage problems.”
And we have to end this on a happier note (because, HAPPY Valentines Day)…
“To know that someone, especially the one we love, values our efforts sends us off with our head in the clouds. The wife who is wise enough to show her husband appreciation for all his efforts will keep his heart fixed upon her.”
There we go, that was happier.
Wherever you are, and whoever you might be celebrating with today, I hope you are able to sense God’s love for you, as you enjoy your friends and family!