It has been dawning on me that my kids will humble me NO MATTER WHAT. No I won’t go into the juicy details on HOW they might go about doing that. I’m sure you all have your own stories.
I am also not a parenting expert like I thought I was pre-children.
But I do read (name it and claim it, or something weird like that) those verses on how God gives grace to the humble with a little more intensity than I used to. When I realize how quickly my children are heading out into the world to share how insane we all are…So maybe in the spirit of beating them to the punch I will blog about it instead! No, just kidding. They will tell you enough on their own.
I was just reading a good parenting book this week. It discussed humility in living with your children. I have been thinking about it for days, and trying to live it more intentionally. It is gold.
Don’t worry, no preaching. Just sharing what I’m reading. You all know anyway that I really do not have it all together, parenting or otherwise. However, I am always looking for ways to be a better wife, parent, friend of God, friend of friends, cook, laundress, seamstress, teacher, etc, etc, etc.
Basically it is a simple idea: as you train diligently, remember that they are human, and, like yourself, are prone to forget to do things, make mistakes, take forever to eat, walk around the house with the garbage can that has just sat in cat pee all night… and set the can down in each room of the house while adding all the trash to that ONE garbage can…(don’t worry, I probably made that one up).
When I am parenting humbly, I remember that I am also just like them and make mistakes and do stupid things, and while I don’t let disobedience go un-dealt with, it changes my reaction from berating to understanding and compassion as I go through things with them.
I can already sense a difference in morale. Not that I don’t try to parent like this already, I have been working on this one for years…it just helps to have a kick in the pants on the reality of the human-ness of it all.
I’ll give a little quote:
“Humility is an awareness of one’s faults, weaknesses and limitations, and an absence of arrogance and self-righteousness. This is essential in being a good parent. It makes us temperate toward our children, curbs anger, makes allowances for human error and cultivates patience. It gives parents the composure to deal with our children’s faults with reason in a way that will not alienate them.”
I love it. Incidentally, you could use the humility idea with a little tweaking (such as take out references to training) with marriage also…I have noticed that it works wonders. Now why I don’t think of that when I’m up on my high horse feeling very self-righteous towards some poor soul whose name starts with an “M”…I guess because it’s difficult to climb down off of a horse.
I’m serious, I used to have a horse. We’ll just say there is a certain gracefulness that I lack in the horse department. Or in life in general.
Back to my helpful book. There was a good and real example of a child spilling something on the floor, and two very different ways of dealing with it. I loved the humble way of realizing what I should have done better to help avoid this situation, but also now that it has happened, focusing on the person and the relationship vs. my irritation over the work caused.
I also “love” how somehow in the great providence of God, I am usually presented with a great opportunity to practice eating a large serving of humble pie after writing or even thinking about it.
See, these are very humble…and blurry. But they make me laugh. I think the blurry is due to the kid behind the camera.(!)