This post isn’t going to make me any friends. But for better or worse this is what I was thinking about today.
I was looking at our wedding pictures this week. Wow. We looked…young and clueless. And happy.
Sometimes my thoughts hit me in the face…
Michael, and many other men have put ALL their eggs in one basket.
Ours. OUR BASKET!!! ( I am yelling, but you can’t tell, so I have to put caps)
They gave us their trust. We vowed to be the ONE woman to make them happy, to fulfill their desires, and to be there for them against all odds. Are we keeping our vows? They’ve given us a trust. Are we trustworthy? Are we failing them?
This is the sexy they’ve sworn to love and honor for THE REST OF THEIR LIFE. Are we being good keepers of the sexy?
Sure, I know that’s not the ONLY thing we have to think about. (Well…maybe.) We are the companion they have chosen for…FOREVER. Are we good companions? Are we still the one who understands them the best? This is the sense of humor they married and hoped we would never lose. Do we still have that sense of humor? Or did we toss it out when things got tough?
You know what I’m talking about. These are scary questions. But we have to ask ourselves this from time to time. Are we keeping our promises? If yes, then carry on. If no, then lets get to work!
Sometimes I am ashamed. I think about the way we went into marriage with those rose colored glasses. And while I know we love each other much more deeply than when we started this journey, I also know that I’ve let him down. Sometimes I forget my promise to him. I forget that I’m IT for him. He promised me that he would love me and stay true to me. Am I making it easy for him to keep his promise?
Sometimes we have some strange thinking about this. Here are just a few thoughts. This is obviously not an exhaustive list…
1. No time.
That’s ridiculous. and we all know it. I make time for facebook, reading, running, and staring at the wall. The least I could do is to make the same amount of time for the Man I swore to love, honor, and cherish.
2. He doesn’t pay attention to me, why should I give him any time?
Nope, it doesn’t work that way. Don’t even let yourself go there. It’s an ugly road. Hard to get over that line of thinking. Maybe he gave up awhile ago. Or maybe he didn’t. Maybe he’s over there giving you attention and you’re ignoring him. Maybe we need to enter their world, find out what they need, and quit making it all about us. I happen to know I get happy when I start thinking about what he needs instead of what I need. It’s my magic get happy formula. (Don’t tell him. This might backfire.)
3. He’s changed.
So have you. So have I. But we promised to love each other NO MATTER WHAT.
Sometimes it’s tempting to think that God wants me to do other, more important things with my time. But then I read the Bible.
Ending rant now.